A month ago, I started this crazy adventure and in that month, I’ve made 15 cupcakes and 6 cakes. Seems like a good start to me! Then again, didn’t we just ring in the new year last week? Sometimes I find it hard to believe how quickly time goes by.
Last weekend, I delivered a cake to a friend of mine whose husband was turning 40 and it made me think : I have a friend whose husband is 40 years old. Earlier that week, a co-worker and good friend of mine turned 42 years old. I have friends who are in their forties. What does that tell you about me? I’m almost forty. Ok, so not quite, but still…it’s closer than I’d like to admit.
I remember panicking a little when I turned 35 years old. I shouldn’t have been surprised since it had happened to me with all of my other milestone birthdays. But this time, I was having a hard time figuring out exactly what was bothering me. So many thoughts and questions were humming through my head, the biggest one being “Am I where I thought I’d be at this point in my life?” And the answer was….”I have no idea!” At that moment, Karmic Sweets wasn’t even in my realm of possibilities. I was on a quest that I’d felt had begun when I’d turned 33 years old. I felt like I was at a fork in the road, but I didn’t know which road to choose since I didn’t know where each road ended. I felt lost and confused. Even though I knew something big was coming, I had no idea what it was.
Over that period of time, I read countless books, blogs and articles on finding your life purpose. I meditated, took up yoga, watched as many travel shows, home improvement shows and movies that I could thinking that it would help guide me. I talked to friends, colleagues and even a medium. I tried acupuncture and even started running again even though I had vowed the previous summer to never run again, but still no answers.
I kept reading all of these articles where everyone had figured out their life purpose and even created their dream jobs, but no one could tell me exactly how to do it. I was getting frustrated. I even had a deck of inspirational cards with positive thoughts on them that I used every day. Essentially, you choose one card a day from the deck and the card’s purpose is to help guide you. Even though there are 64 cards in the deck, I’d get the same one at least twice a week : “The perfect job is looking for me and we are being brought together now”. Really universe? Really?
Then one day, it hit me. Why do I trust the universe with so many little things, but not the big things? I have said many times how I believe everything happens for a reason and have been proven this time and time again, so why couldn’t I just let go and let the universe take care of all of it for me? I blame the aforementioned milestone birthday. Those always have a way of putting pressure on you without even realising it.
So after coming to this realisation, I chose to take a breath. I went for a two hour walk on a nature trail near my house and vowed to empty my head. No music either. Just me and nature. And by the time I got home, I felt amazing. I’d love to tell you that I had an epiphany on the trail or that something amazing happened, but apparently, all I needed was to clear my head of all those thoughts. After all, age is just a number right?
Slowly, I discovered baking blogs and baking shows and I started experimenting with my mother and grandmother’s recipes. I fell in love with being in the kitchen again, a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I love baking and I’ve realised today that I love trying to create my own recipes even more (stay tuned for a crazy banana bread recipe coming soon..I hope! It’s in the oven right now!) I’m still not sure where this road will lead me, but I know that I’m on the right one.
You never know where life will take you and isn’t it exciting? On my 35th birthday, I was able to put things into perspective by realising that I was still 5 years away from 40 and that in 5 years, there was a lot that I could accomplish. Two years later, my brain is constantly flooded with thoughts and ideas of cakes and cupcakes. I literally dream of cake! How lucky am I? I had no idea this is where life would lead me and it took awhile to get here, but it’s wonderful.
I’ve always loved celebrating my birthday and I always will. I truly hope that I will never again let my age define what I should be doing or where I should be in my life. I tend to go bigger on milestone birthdays, but all other birthdays are just as important. For example, we’ve already planned what we’ll be doing on my husband’s fortieth (which is sooner than mine!) and I can’t wait : Disney World, here we come! You see, growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
Speaking of Disney World, here is a Minnie Mouse smash cake I made this past weekend for a one-year old’s birthday :